I duno how to describe me today...

I'm not very sad or very happy. I tried my best to give the best part of me today. I tried to control my mood. I'm not being emo really... Maybe i'm just mentally tired of all these craps! It's really sickening people and sickening situation i'm facing everyday.

I feel like giving up and going back to Malaysia right now without a word. I wish i could do that... I want to scream up to my lung's content! Laugh, scream, shout...whatever it takes. Suppressed feelings are really bad for health.

I don't know what else to do. I tried my best to not keep my friends worried. I know some of them are. They knew something is wrong with me, but they kept my privacy by not asking what happened. Thank you for your understanding! Some things can't be expressed verbally! They can be feel, can be seen but just difficult to be told.

Things are going so wrong for me now. Is God testing my faith now? Is it that i'm now just luke warm and not hot for Jesus like i was before? Will i be able to be like what my friends described me? Strong girl that is stronger than anyone else they've met? I may pretend to be ok. Look ok, strong...etc. but 'a strong person' will not be able to stay strong all the time. Only a robot could be strong all the time with no battery limits though!

Tough life are meant to nurture strong souls. But how far could i go? Will i pass or fail? Can i persevere through all these? Am i the chosen one? Am i fit for the test?

All these answers... we'll need to wait for the time to come... Only we'll know...

Thanks to my friends(just to name a few) Charmaine, Chien, John, Mahes, Tee...etc I'm ok. Broken heart + so much more, just need some time to recover. unless someone try to pour salt over my wound, i should recover soon with the strength of God.

Stay blessed!

Love,
Lynn